While physical development, as well as language development (which we will look at in the next segment when we talk about the cognitive development of a toddler), is important. Furthermore, it is also important for a child to learn how to interact with others as well as to understand their emotions. Furthermore, it is important to be able to control one’s own emotions, something even difficult for us adults to do.

This will largely determine how many positive relationships the toddler would be able to maintain growing up. Mastering these skills is a long process, and/ children continue to develop in this area well into their teenage years or even until young adulthood.

At the age of 12-24 months, the young toddler understands that they are independent beings and also that others have thoughts and feelings just like themselves. It is during this time that we should make them feel safe and loved while they deal with new challenges. as well as being able to develop important components such as a sense of conscience which they will carry on towards adulthood.

If the toddler is not taught right from wrong and also provided a nurturing, loving environment, they are more likely to develop conduct problems and antisocial behaviours later in life.Parents play a vital role during this time, as to how you respond to your toddler would determine how confident they become and how much of trust they place in others.

Following are a few things to help support your toddler’s social and emotional development include;

• Giving your toddler enough time to try and figure out a problem on his/her own (such as tying their shoelace). Only provide support when/if you see them frustrated
• Encourage and support toddlers in their efforts, offer praise while they are attempting to do something
• Develop the concept of sharing by showing them how to share. Introduce games where they need to wait their turn
• Demonstrate polite ways of asking for what they want as well as for asking permission to use what does not belong to them
• Try distracting them in order to reduce conflict (such as showing them a different object or drawing their attention to something more interesting)
• Create an environment where they know they can depend on you and feel safe
• Establish routines which will help your toddler to prepare for the challenges they may face

At the age of 24-36 months, toddlers start to really engage in interactive play with others which may also include imaginative play like pretending to play house and/or looking after a baby doll

Their understanding of other’s feeling will also tend to gradually increase, you might notice them always wanting to be right in an argument. It is therefore important to focus on helping toddlers understand their feelings. How can you help your toddler do this?

• Creative methods could be used such as reading story book or even using puppets. Some other aspects of how you can help your toddler
• Help them understand healthy and non-harmful ways to express feelings, especially negative ones such as anger. For example, it is not ok to hit when you’re angry, rather express feelings by using appropriate words.
• Try to avoid always directing your toddler. Let them come up with play ideas so that they are not always dependent on you. Support older toddler’s developing skills by empathizing with their frustration, asking if they know what caused the problem and if they have a solution, offering your observation and if they would like to hear your suggestions etc.
• Talk about rules and limits you would like to set in a language your toddler can understand.
• Give consequences to help your toddler understand the cause and effect involved in a rule. If a punishment is being given this should be done immediately after the undesirable behaviour has occurred so that your toddler understands what you are punishing them for

Other Important Aspects to Remember

Remember that consistency in your parenting is of utmost importance. A common mistake parents tend to make is to adapt two different parenting styles. This will create confusion in the toddler’s mind.

Another common mistake is the lack of stimulation. Allowing a child to simply sit in front of a TV will not help them in their development. There have been many instances where parents come to consultation stating their child is not engaging with other children or is finding it difficult to sit in Montessori.

More often than not these problems can be traced back to the lack of appropriately supporting them in their social and emotional development. If a child is not allowed the opportunity to play they might struggle with not knowing how to play and how to interact with other children.

If there is no structure provided for a young toddler, they would tend to struggle when put into a setting that demands structure. Therefore, supporting them appropriately early on in life would help them be more prepared for challenges they would face not only in childhood but also in later life. If you would like to know more tips on how you can support your developing toddler with their social and emotional development, leave us a comment and we will be able to support your individual queries.

The BabySpace in this article would be addressing one condition that a considerable percentage of babies in Sri Lanka are born with- Autism.

What is Autism?

Autism is a mental condition that develops in early childhood. It causes a child to have difficulties in reaching most of the development milestones such as speech, perception and forming relationships with those around him or her, sometimes including the parents themselves.

Symptoms of Autism

Most of you would already know a few symptoms of this condition but these signs would differ, at least vaguely, from case to case. Thus, effects of Autism are not always the same and with this treatment would also change in many ways.

However, if your child has any of these following symptoms that could mean that the little one is having Autism.

• Having trouble communicating with words or using signs
• Having difficulty thinking and behaving in the right given a situation
• Not interacting with people or seem distant

Autism in Toddlers

Detecting the condition in your infant or toddler can be challenging but the BabySpace have compiled some of the symptoms,with the help of experts, which you could easily see in your little one.

• Difficulty in keeping or even making eye contact
• Have trouble in visually following objects
• Doesn’t react when his or her name is spoken out
• Doesn’t use sign languages to get your attention or help
• Seem distant when around other people and not initiate communication or play
• Doesn’t look out for the parent’s affection or want to be cuddled
• Delay in speaking out words or make babbling sounds when an infant
• Never reach out to pick dropped objects
• Seem irritable
• The child would not imitate facial expressions or smile back when smiled at

Causes of Autism

There are no precise reasons laid out as causes of the condition. But, the available research says that Autism can be a result of many things combined from the age of the parents to the food that a mother consumes when the baby is conceived. Let’s take a few minutes to talk about them.

Accordingly medication such as antidepressants can cause Autism. It is more risky if a mother takes these medications in the first quarter of the pregnancy. To deliver a healthy child the mother should stay healthy. Nutritional deficiency during the pregnancy, again mainly in the first quarter, would lead to many conditions including Autism.

In addition to these, maternal infections and the mother being subjected to chemicals pollutants are also found to be affecting the baby.

Knowing the signs and symptoms will not be enough to understand the condition and know for sure that your baby is autistic. We believe that the best way to know what a baby is going through or suffering from is by closely observing every movement and reading each concealed hint. If you do believe that there is something wrong don’t hesitate to get help. You would prefer to give it time and wait till the baby improves but this will not work for your advantage.

According to BabySpace experts the best time for treatment- in order to recover, is before the child turns two to three years. Early detection is the key to successful treatment.

Sadly, most of the Sri Lankan parents are not aware of Autism and some not willing to accept that their child is autistic or different from other children. The stigma attached to conditions such as this is stressful.

Treatment for Autism includes play therapy, speech therapy, music therapy, occupational therapy and group therapy. Autism cannot be medically treated.

Treatment takes time and patience of both the therapist and parents. It is not an easy task.

Building trust with an autistic child is not always easy and it requires unlimited attention and tolerance. Experts sometimes would even act like the child to get into the child’s world. Later, step by step, they would start therapy.

Accordingly, therapists would identify skills and talents of the child and aim to improve it. Most autistic children are found to be creative, artistic and athletic. There are isolated cases where they are extremely good in studies. Focusing on these talents would help children to perform normally in the society. Autistic children should always be encouraged to interact with other children.

Children are not the only ones who are suffering when Autism strikes- often, parents are too. Parents should have a positive outlook always. He said that this would help them and the child too to recover.

When we talk about physical development, we use the terms “gross motor skills” and “fine motor skills”. Gross motor development refers to the physical skills that use large body movements, normally involving the entire body, while fine motor development refers to smaller, more precise movements normally using the hands and fingers.
Physical development occurs at different times for all children depending on a number of factors such as the child’s unique characteristics, the family’s values and culture as well as available resources. However, many infants and toddlers experience developmental milestones at similar times. These are considered as averages and not really a rule of thumb.

The chart provided in the toddler development milestones gives you a rough idea of what these might be. For example, by 18 months the toddler can walk alone and by approximately 2 ½ years increases in fine motor skills by being able to hold a pencil between the thumb and two fingers.

While a toddler would naturally move towards development, it is also important for certain conditions to exist which include basic needs such as nutrition and age-appropriate food, warmth and shelter, health and clean environment.

It is also important to note that values and beliefs held by the family and culture contribute to our knowledge and understanding of growth and development. For example, some families might feel that being independent and able to eat on your own is an important skill for a toddler to learn, whereas for others this might not be an important fine motor skill to master as a toddler.

There are also a number of other influences on a toddler’s physical development;

• Prematurity and low birth weight may bring about respiratory difficulties, feeding problems and digestive problems
• Prenatal influences such as genetic inheritance, exposure to drugs and alcohol which may result in conditions such as fetal alcohol syndrome or intellectual disabilities.
• Temperament (the way a toddler approaches his/her world)
• Family composition, lifestyle, level of education and housing conditions
• Developmental delays or disabilities and health conditions

By recognizing developmental delays during infancy or toddlerhood, early interventions can be provided and thus maybe more effective than if the delays were not acknowledged until childhood. This is important as delays in physical development might not only affect gross and fine motor skills but also the entire development of the child. For example, if a child is unable to smile and raise himself/herself to be picked up, it could impact the relationship between the parent and child and thus affect social and emotional development.

Healthy physical development is not only dependent on nutrition, and the development of the physical body such as the brain, the central nervous system, muscles, bones but also on the interactions and experiences offered to the toddler.

Therefore, as much as providing good food and a clean environment is important, stimulation and providing opportunities for the toddler to grow is also imperative for appropriate physical development.

So it is the parent’s responsibility to look after their children, educate them and try to be a super mother rather than a zoo keeper mother. Super mothers and fathers will go out their way to provide educational experiences for children and let them initiate activities. Children of this type of mothers will be competent in most areas of development.

At the other end of the scale mothers give good materialistic support to the children but interaction with them will be very low because she is busy. These children may be looked after in a very rigid and structured manner but they will learn to be inflexible.

Optimal caregiving means spending quality time and providing them warm affectionate care and educational interactions and make sure that the child is able to learn, reproduce and practice the skills that are useful and meaningful to the society. Children like to explore the environment but they are unable to understand whatever they see or hear or smell without parental guidance and explanation. By this way child’s mental growth will develop and child will learn to look in the environment for further stimuli.

Children learn the many things from their surroundings but the rate of learning depend on child’s rate of brain development.

Some children are slow to warm up  and in such cases parents should not be impatient and criticize the child about his/her slowness.

Parental responsiveness to child’s feelings , needs, rhythms and signals are also important things that parents should understand. Touching, holding, feeding and stimulation of the child should be done by both parents , grandparents, and other relations.

A child should be taught to enhance give and take interaction early thus discouraging typical childhood feeling of selfishness. Effective mothers adjust their behaviour to meet children’s’ needs.

Mother and father have unique type of responsibilities in the rearing of a child. Though we talk mainly about maternal society paternal influences in our influences are also very important for both male and female children. Generally fathers will be busy with earning money but the care given by both parents are very important . A father’s involvement from the time of birth is encouraged in our practice and father is allowed to be with the mother at the time of child birth (in the private sector), antenatal care  and post natal care. Just as the mothers spend much more time feeding , dressing, grooming , disciplining , teaching, and caring for children, fathers role as a play mate make them (the children) very happy.

From birth onward fathers pay more visual attention to children than mothers do. Fathers are much more tactile and lift, tickle and handle the baby as well as guide the child when they are walking or crossing the road . This type of physical arousing which may be rough and little aggressive at time will teach the child how to develop in a hardness of a male compared to softness of the female.

Children who spend a lot of time playing with their fathers tend to be more competent in many ways and can be affectionate sensitive and responsive as mothers are. Female stimulation of the children includes comfort, nurturing and verbal stimulation. Males are generally show actions, explorations and risk taking to the children. So care giving styles of mother and father have a major impact on child’s sex role development.

This was a opinion piece submitted by a parent and medical professional in Sri Lanka, and not entirely views by BabySpace.lk. If you would like to send your comments and view please contact us.

Most good toddler developments both physically and mentally will start with good and effective parenting.

Access the articles in this section to learn more.

Unfortunately most people discipline their children in the same way they were disciplined. This leads to mistakes they learn from their parents transmitted to their offspring.

Effective parenting means communication and discipline. In each area parents have to do a balancing act between freedom and  guidance.

How can parents strike a balance?

Children should feel free to express their deepest feelings through speech and actions. This doesn’t mean they can do whatever they please. The children should be allowed to move freely within well defined boundaries for acceptable behavior.

For this  Individual parents may choose limits that are more strict or less strict. But this choice is less important than consistency. That means maintaining stable rules of conduct which can give a child a sense of security and stability.

What does consistent discipline mean in practice?

Common errors parents often make that leads to inconsistency should be considered.

Following mistakes are to be avoided.

• Saying one thing and doing something else. Example – You are not given your ice cream if you don’t eat your rice. But you feel sorry or guilty and  offer him/her ice cream.
• Making statements you don’t mean. Example – When children are fighting in the rear of the car when you are driving you will tell if you don’t quiet down I am going to stop the car and make you walk home. Finally you don’t do that
• Overstating consequences – Example –“Look what you have done to the living room. I don’t allow you to use this area”. But you allow him
• Changing no to yes. Good example is the parents who first refuses to buy the child a toy and later gives in and buy it
• Not checking to see if the child has actually done something you requested. Example – Watering the flower beds
• Contradicting the rules your spouse has set for the child. Parents need to agree on guidelines for child discipline and not undermine each others efforts
• Not meaning what you say for the first time. The child quickly learn how many times they will be warned before they are actually punished
• Responding differently to the same behavior . Example – One day the child is sent to his room for fighting with his sister. The next day the fighting is over looked

Random discipline makes children feel angry and confused because they cannot control the consequences of their own behavior. Inconsistency also gives children the message that they should not believe in you as they lose trust in what you say.